Fire Down Below by Debra Anastasia
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell temporary pharmacist at the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her UTI meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud. Like he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Due to Johnson’s sexy face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove finds herself stupidly asking for a vagina-scented cream in her waking nightmare.
She falls for him, how could she not? The only active goal Dove has now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. Johnson’s horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing that fabulous reality from taking shape. When Dove defends Johnson in the most disgusting way in the center of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in Holy Water by my mom and glared at with pursed lips by my father. Neither thing will help. Slap on your rubber gloves, turn to the left and cough. It’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Fire Down Below is book 1 in the Gynazule Series
What People Are Saying About FIRE DOWN BELOW
Oh God. We’re talking about me being naked, in the shower with cooter cream. Please world, end. Kill me.
“I know it’s not soap. I just… if it’s scented… I can’t do scented. Flowers and stuff
like that. Fruit-flavored soaps make… things… burnish.” She could tell from the
peeks at his face Mr. Fitzwell had never stepped foot in bath and lotion store,
wanting to try the array of fun fragrances. Nor had he purchased Peppermint
Candy shower gel, foamed up his nether regions, and felt like he had dipped
them in lava. Dove crossed and uncrossed her legs at the memory.
Mr. Fitzwell seemed concerned. “Okay, just a heads-up. It’s definitely not good to
put any fruits or plant life near your genitals.” He made a V with his hands and formed his own pretend vagina in front of his pants.
Dove covered her eyes and tried to defend herself because now she could hear the
sickly older woman beating her supporters with a purse.
Dove’s mumbling got louder with her embarrassment. “I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For
vaginas.” She kept her eyes on the counter.
There are a lot of eyes in Debra Anastasia’s house in Maryland. First, her own creepy peepers are there, staring at her computer screen. She’s made two more sets of eyes with her body, and the kids they belong to are amazing. The poor husband is still looking at her after 17 years of marriage. At least he likes to laugh. Then the freaking dogs are looking at her—six eyeballs altogether, though the old dog is blind. And the cat watches her too, mostly while knocking stuff off the counter and doing that internal kitty laugh when Deb can’t catch the items fast enough.
Debra has a smattering of books in a few genres. There are two in the Seraphim Series and three in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series with a prequel, Poughkeepsie Begins in the near future. Fire Down Below is the first in the comedic Gynzaule Series. The second, Fire in the Hole, will be published in late 2015. The Revenger, a dark paranormal romance will debut this summer. And last, a novella called Late Night with Andres is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia. But be prepared…
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