Fire Down Below (Gynazule #1) by Debra Anastasia
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
This was just crazy and obnoxious and funny as hell! All those things that happen you don't want to talk about or admit too, they were covered. I felt like a 10 year old reading something I shouldn't and I enjoyed ever second of it.
In the midst of the madness is this insane cast of characters that are so outrageously over the top you can't help but love them. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. Let me be clear, this was was over the top, potty mouth, ridiculous humor... if farting offends you, look away! I could not get enough of it because in the middle of it all, there was still this real girl with insecurities and I liked her a lot. There's a solid story mixed in with all the awkward. This was just ridiculously entertaining and so wrong in so many ways! It was full of raunchy potty mouth name calling, it was way (way!) over the top but at some point I didn't even care because it just all worked.
We've got a some whacked out friends, a sweet but loud pharmacist, a sausage eating neighbor, The Anastasias (holy crap I want to have a drink with this author in real life!) and a psycho cat. What's not to love?! I don't want to say more because I don't want to spoil it but by the end, I might have been rooting for the sausage eater.
One last thing… after reading all this madness and thinking “what the hell did I read and WHY did I like it?” one more thing happened – freaking cliffhanger. For real, I couldn't believe it. Figures. ;-)
Sign me up for more crazy because I need book 2 as soon as possible!
Complimentary copy received for honest review.
There are a lot of eyes in Debra Anastasia’s house in Maryland. First, her own creepy peepers are there, staring at her computer screen. She’s made two more sets of eyes with her body, and the kids they belong to are amazing. The poor husband is still looking at her after 17 years of marriage. At least he likes to laugh. Then the freaking dogs are looking at her—six eyeballs altogether, though the old dog is blind. And the cat watches her too, mostly while knocking stuff off the counter and doing that internal kitty laugh when Deb can’t catch the items fast enough.
Debra has a smattering of books in a few genres. There are two in the Seraphim Series and three in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series with a prequel, Poughkeepsie Begins in the near future. Fire Down Below is the first in the comedic Gynzaule Series. The second, Fire in the Hole, will be published in late 2015. The Revenger, a dark paranormal romance will debut this summer. And last, a novella called Late Night with Andres is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia. But be prepared…
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